Time

I don’t know what to future holds but I’ll choose to face the repercussions of past decisions made. 2019 – 2020 has been the toughest years of my life. Decisions made during that time period might not have been the wisest. I can only pray for God’s amazing grace to get me through the results of choices made back then.

Time is such a precious commodity now that I know that my time might be limited. Things that I’ve once taken for granted are viewed from a different perspective.

Sleep becomes less important except for my aching physical body to recover to face the next day. Moments with my family and friends become so precious. I savour the flavours of every meal and try to finish everything on my plate as if it’s the last meal I’d ever have, even when the dishes can be really simple home-cooked food. I view every building and street with new-found awe, knowing that there might not be many more times I get to see them. I greet every sunlight with gratefulness knowing that the place I might go to would not receive as much sunlight. I allow my ears to enjoy the hymns played through the audio system of my car as I drive for I don’t know how long more such privileges will be extended to me.

I remind myself to live in the moment and that really teaches me to prioritise what’s important and then I realise, nothing else is as important than God and family. The whole world can label you any term they want to but God and family stays true to you.

It’s as if I’m living on borrowed time. I wonder if this is how dying feels like. And then I realise aren’t we all living on borrowed time in a borrowed world?